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It could have gone differently....Happy Birthday Son!

October 23, 2018

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It could have gone differently....Happy Birthday Son!

October 23, 2018

 

In 1988 I was 16.  I had the world at my fingertips.  I was  a typical teenager.  Dating a nice guy - he played football, I was in cheer. I had good grades and held a good part-time job.  I  had lots of friends and was very active in school and church activities.  I was a good girl.  

 

But one day I turned up pregnant and rocked the circle of people that knew me! No one expected this of me.  No one thought that I would have such a dramatic shift in the course of my life.  So many people cried tears and worried about the fate of both me and this child.  

 

I don't believe that at 16 a person's brain is developed enough to truly understand the outcomes of such major decisions as these, but I do remember knowing that this was what I thought was best for the child.  For everyone.  I am not sure I would still make that decision with the knowledge I have now, but I made the best decision at the time and I have never regretted it.

  

I chose to give that child up in a private adoption. And for those of you who don't know, a private adoption is where both sides of the adoption know very little if anything about the other.  This isn't as common today due to social media but back then a private adoption was a way to ensure neither side would interfere.  It also made it very difficult to find each other even if you wanted to. 

 

But in 1988, this family desperately wanted a child and prayed for God to send them one.  They wanted him, loved him and for that I am so very grateful.  

 

But for many years he would look for me  and one day I got a random call and this is  how it went:

  

PHONE RINGS - 

Me ; "hello"

Him: "Um, I'm looking for Becca "

Me: "This is she"

Him: "Are you alone?"

Me:  "NO!"

Him: "Can I speak with you privately?" 

Me: "NO!" "What do you want"

Him:  "I'm nervous, I was adopted and born on October 22nd, 1988 and I need to know if that date means anything to you?"

 

Did that make your heart stop?  It did mine. 

 

I couldn't believe it.  For some reason...I knew, I just knew it was him.  

 

So over the next few months, and now years, we have gotten to know each other.  Our lives have intertwined as they inevitably continue to change.    Our story is amazing.  It is beautiful.  It is heartwarming.

 

You see, this story could have gone way different.

 

There are many stories  of teen pregnancy, adoption or life long trauma that don't have happy endings.    The majority of adoptive kids never find their birth parents and if they try - there is risk about what they will find and the reactions they get are completely unknown.  So many people didn't tell anyone about them, or pretending to visit a relative when it got close to due dates.  Every story has its unique details.  

 

But our story is beautiful.  Our story is about this image you see.   Today is my child's birthday and although it could have gone differently, I am so very proud it went the way it did.  

 

I love you Son! Happy Birthday!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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