This blog is the last letter in this blog series and I can’t think of a better way than to have my amazing wife finish it out. She is talented in so many ways and has supported me on this journey while she too explored all that it meant to be gay. To all my viewers. Enjoy – it is a message from her heart and her heart is beautiful. I love you Sydney – with all of my heart.
Growing up a lesbian in Oklahoma is not easy, especially when you combine it with a conservative Church of Christ family. I’m not even sure when it was that I first heard the word lesbian. In my childhood world, it was all lumped together under the “homosexual” umbrella.
I do remember the first time I was called a dyke. The word was meant as an insult and was filled with derogatory undertones and hate. It was all centered around the boy’s basketball shorts I was wearing that day.
Since that day, I have seen a new resurgence of the community taking a claim of such labels like dyke, butch and lesbian. These words once used to hurt but now I see them worn with pride on t-shirts, hats, pins and patches. Badges of honor instead of labels of hate.
In this final blog series about the LGBT acronym I could tell you the history of the word or why the “L” comes first but the truth is I don’t know any of those things. So, I am just going to take a quick minute to tell you what the word lesbian means to me.
I am a lesbian. I am attracted to women. But more deeply than that I belong to a community of women who are bonded through our femininity. A community who wants to stand on their own merits and not be solely judged by who we love.
My “lesbian” world really is no different than any of you reading this blog. I go to work, come home and fix dinner, worry about how much time the 12-year-old spends playing video games, wish the 15-year-old girl would stay away from boys, and hope the 18-year-old boy is ready for college. After a long day, I fall into bed next to my wife and our 2 weenie dogs.
Truthfully in this crazy thing called “life” I think all you can ask for is being able to do it with someone you love and who loves you back. And it just so happens for me that person is a woman and she is my wife. I hope if you haven’t found your person that you do someday.
The word Lesbian is just another word; another label; and another box to be put in. I will never forget a good friend of mine once said to me “while all these people are so worried about what my girlfriend and I are doing in the bedroom we are busy doing laundry, going to the grocery store and living our life”. That simple but powerful statement has stuck with me.
I am a woman who happens to like other women. But staring in through the big front window of my house you would see a very stereotypical American picture.
These days I wear the lesbian label with pride. Hoping that maybe by just living and being me, I can change a few people’s opinions of what they think a lesbian is.
So, if you happen to run into my wife and I at the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon holding up the aisle thumbing through our coupons; I hope you’ll just smile and pass us by. We are all in this together.