Ok...so this is part 5 in a 7 part series. Sorry I've been gone for a while.
"B" is for BISEXUAL
Which by Wikipedia's Definition is: a romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females.
I had an acquaintance that when talking about bisexual people... He said: " Now that is what I am talking about!!!! So does that mean; no matter how they swing....I might just have a chance? " Although I think this type of statement is naive and somewhat offensive, I do think a lot of straight people are okay with this letter. Guys might be totally okay thinking the girl they date is bisexual but they certainly don't want their hunting buddy to be. There are extreme biases inside the acceptance of this letter. Let's face it, it fulfills sexual fantasies for lots of people.
However, I want to be clear (and I am not sure I have been in any of the previous blogs in this series) that when I am describing the definition and sometimes the thoughts of a certain group/letter - that I am not describing a sexual pattern of behavior as much as I am trying to explain a certain type of sexual thinking. Sexual behavior does not always correlate to what the person deeply believes about their sexual thinking. I was proof of that for 17 years.
What I have wanted anyone reading the blog to gain from this series is that the sexualthinking is what is so misunderstood and what I think has been unjustifiably criticized.
So this week is about bisexuals. And the simplest way to describe this person is they "go both ways." They are equally attracted to both male and female people.
It is important to note here that bisexuals are not to be confused with pansexuals. Unfortunately, pansexuals were not covered in this series and I believe they are one of the most important gender definitions that need to be added to the acronym. A pansexual is a person that cares more about the soul/spirit of a person than they do about the person's gender and the spirit is what they become attracted to.
I speak sarcastically about this letter "B" because so many straight people are hypocritical about this letter. They might actually be bisexual themselves but would never live that way publicly so they don't get the same crap from society as the "T "or "I" or even the "L"and "G". As in many of my blogs, many people have a twisted perspective of this letter and assume the bi-sexual person is just a sexual being and only in it for sex.
This leads me back to the sexual thinking of a person. The sexual thinking of a person is NOT the same as the sexual activity of a person. The sexual activity of a person is NOT my business and that is NOT what I am addressing in this blog series.
A bisexual person is attracted to male and females. The romantic part and the intellectual part. When I first came out...people would say...well you have to be at least bisexual - cuz you were married to a man. And what I always say is - if you are asking me if I am offended and disgusted by men's genitalia - then no. But I liken it more that I am disgusted by a man's personality. THAT is the part that makes me a lesbian.
In addition, I believe that the best and most healthy relationships are when two people commit to each other in love, intellect and in sexuality. And I believe most people strive to find this kind of companion. Where I think we go wrong as outsiders looking in, is when we make sexuality a factor about SEX alone. And for so many it isn't about that.
I would wager that most self identifying STRAIGHT people would be able to recognize a "pretty" person to look at, regardless of their gender and the straight person would have no reservations about such thoughts. But what makes a bisexual person bisexual is they are open to be romantically attracted to either gender.
I don't think this letter is nearly as hard to understand as some of the others....it's logical and way more normal than most people give it credit for. But I also think that the bisexual has way more to consider when choosing a partner than just what happens in the bedroom.
So in closing, if you have biases about a bisexual men but don't seem to care if a woman is bisexual, then I would ask you to look and see what is perverted in your thoughts and try and change your perspective. Bisexual people are NOT just in it for sex and thinking that way largely discredits all the people in the LGBTQIA community. If you are the person hyper focused on someone else's sex life or preferences without looking at the bigger picture, then I ask you why? Why do you care and maybe if you have conflict with any of these letters then you are fighting your own personal battle of some kind.