My wife and I just recently met with a Christian professor and long standing member of a conservative church denomination in which I was raised. He wanted to discuss how “church” people have treated my wife and I as well as our kids.
He was kind, compassionate, caring and truly interested in what my wife and I have experienced. He truly wanted to know what we had been thru and how it had affected our church attendance, our faith and the examples of faith we have been trying to set for our family.
As he suspected, we don’t really go to church nor do we really show our kids a strong faith. When we both came out, many people from the church said hurtful and hateful things. And because there was a great deal of pain that was incurred it isn’t surprising that we would no longer want to be associated with those people. But until now, I don’t think even realized how I had let it affect me. I KNOW I didn’t realize how it had affected the kids.
Now our oldest doesn’t know WHAT he believes. Our middle child kicks and screams when we say we are going to church on Sunday and our youngest thinks that the only kids that he can tell he has two moms are the ones that don’t go to church regularly.
Currently, I have a crappy relationship with God. But that is on me. What happened indirectly is I let the people of church affect my belief of God and hinder me from being an example of faith to the kids.
But here is what I want you to really hear me say: People in a church are just people. They are not God. And some of them are loving and some of them are not. But people in a church are just people and I have a responsibility and desire to have a relationship with God regardless of what people do or say.
Did the Church make me gay? NO….I was born that way. Do the people at the church want me to come to their church? I think it depends on the church. I think it depends on the people. I think it depends on me. What do I want the people in the church to do? Nothing……just treat me human…and let me live equal to pursue my own faith!